A(a)pp(u)raisal

There is something that happens twice a year in a software engineer's life..Something that we dread and cannot avoid...A(a)pp(u)raisal!!! I've been doing this for seven years now and it gets more and more tortuous with each passing year. Especially when you know that what you are going to get is pre-determined and the crap that you fill in the system has no use.

While you try to blow things out of proportion and trumpet those as your achievements, your boss tries to downplay whatever little you have actually achieved. However, it provides a great opportunity to laugh at yourself and the whole system . And that's the only way you can come through this unscathed.

Seven deadly strategies that could help in this wretched battle without really breaking sweat.

1. Thou shall not question your manager (it's not a coincidence that this is first in the list.)
   
2. Thou shall take initiatives that burden others while not affecting you in any way (initiatives taken a month or so before the appraisal have greater effect. And the greater the nuisance value of the initiative, greater is the attention you garner.)


3. Thou shall strive to do value addition (noone knows what it is..so you have a free rein here)..
   
4. Thou shall create templates, documents and checklists that serve little or no real purpose.


5. Thou shall always look busy. (Even when jobless and roaming around, have a notepad and a pen. If you can help it, supplement this with a serious look while mouthing high sounding gibberish in your mobile when noone has actually called you.)


6. Thou shall use words like KM, Quality, Reuse, Strategy, Process, CMM, Leadership in every other sentence. (It's important that the listener has a hard time understanding)


7. Thou shall retain a copy of previous appraisals for Reuse.(beware of an appraiser with a good memory)

And some interpretations for the usual feedback given during appraisal, vadivelu ishtyle....



Hard worker - Evvalavu adichaalum thaanguraanya!!

Committed/Team player - Nee rombha nallavannnnnnn......

Good communication, but improve technical skills - Building strong-u, basement weak-u...

Good initiative - Neeya vaaya koduthu maatrayeda maapple....

Need to take additional responsibilities - maappu, vechuttaanga un promotion-ku aaappu!!