While you try to blow things out of proportion and trumpet those as your achievements, your boss tries to downplay whatever little you have actually achieved. However, it provides a great opportunity to laugh at yourself and the whole system . And that's the only way you can come through this unscathed.
Seven deadly strategies that could help in this wretched battle without really breaking sweat.
- Thou shall not question your manager (it's not a coincidence that this is first in the list.)
- Thou shall take initiatives that burden others while not affecting you in any way (initiatives taken a month or so before the appraisal have greater effect. And the greater the nuisance value of the initiative, greater is the attention you garner.)
- Thou shall strive to do value addition (noone knows what it is..so you have a free rein here)..
- Thou shall create templates, documents and checklists that serve little or no real purpose.
- Thou shall always look busy. (Even when jobless and roaming around, have a notepad and a pen. If you can help it, supplement this with a serious look while mouthing high sounding gibberish in your mobile when noone has actually called you.)
- Thou shall use words like KM, Quality, Reuse, Strategy, Process, CMM, Leadership in every other sentence. (It's important that the listener has a hard time understanding)
- Thou shall retain a copy of previous appraisals for Reuse.(beware of an appraiser with a good memory)
And some interpretations for the usual feedback given during appraisal, vadivelu ishtyle....
Hard worker - Evvalavu adichaalum thaanguraanya!!
Committed/Team player - Nee rombha nallavannnnnnn......
Good communication, but improve technical skills - Building strong-u, basement weak-u...
Good initiative - Neeya vaaya koduthu maatrayeda maapple....
Need to take additional responsibilities - maappu, vechuttaanga un promotion-ku aaappu!!
